I don’t know about you, but I blissfully avoided the sad reality that one day my parents wouldn’t be here…until I “accidentally” moved back home to New Jersey during the pandemic.
During that time, a series of unforeseen challenges hit—endings and plans not working out. Then it struck me: What if I am supposed to be here in NJ?
Suddenly, after years of not feeling at home, NJ started to feel like home. I began valuing time with my parents more. We fell into routines—and then my dad’s health declined. A surgery gone wrong caused him to lose an eye. He could no longer work 12-hour days at his Italian restaurant or drive at night.
As someone who works in the entertainment industry, I resisted returning to the restaurant. My dad, very independent, never asked for help. But what choice did he have? Over two years, I slowly helped out, and he eventually felt comfortable enough to say, “I don’t feel well enough to drive in—could I leave early and you close?” It was an honor. I realized I genuinely look up to him and wanted to give back after all he’s done for our family.
Meanwhile, my mom’s cancer returned for the third time. Like my dad, she never wanted to be a burden and suffered in silence during her first two battles. This time, I was prepared. Together with my siblings, we offered as much support as possible—and thankfully, her cancer went into remission. I truly thought it might be the end, so this felt like a miracle.
Years later, my parents are still here, though life in older age isn’t easy. Being there for them, despite the challenges, takes me out of my own ego— and focusing on what’s needed for others can be grounding and rewarding.
I still don’t want to think about them passing, but part of me is at peace knowing I reconnected with them in my 40s and could give them the care, love, and support they’ve always given me. I am grateful for this time with them...here in New Jersey.
During that time, a series of unforeseen challenges hit—endings and plans not working out. Then it struck me: What if I am supposed to be here in NJ?
Suddenly, after years of not feeling at home, NJ started to feel like home. I began valuing time with my parents more. We fell into routines—and then my dad’s health declined. A surgery gone wrong caused him to lose an eye. He could no longer work 12-hour days at his Italian restaurant or drive at night.
As someone who works in the entertainment industry, I resisted returning to the restaurant. My dad, very independent, never asked for help. But what choice did he have? Over two years, I slowly helped out, and he eventually felt comfortable enough to say, “I don’t feel well enough to drive in—could I leave early and you close?” It was an honor. I realized I genuinely look up to him and wanted to give back after all he’s done for our family.
Meanwhile, my mom’s cancer returned for the third time. Like my dad, she never wanted to be a burden and suffered in silence during her first two battles. This time, I was prepared. Together with my siblings, we offered as much support as possible—and thankfully, her cancer went into remission. I truly thought it might be the end, so this felt like a miracle.
Years later, my parents are still here, though life in older age isn’t easy. Being there for them, despite the challenges, takes me out of my own ego— and focusing on what’s needed for others can be grounding and rewarding.
I still don’t want to think about them passing, but part of me is at peace knowing I reconnected with them in my 40s and could give them the care, love, and support they’ve always given me. I am grateful for this time with them...here in New Jersey.